 |
Son of a Pioneer | |
| the stories of G.V. (Gerry) Stauffer |
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Tomatoes and Watermelons Throw the watermelon up for takeoff. |
| (Marjorie) We were visiting Dell McTavish
at the farm near Inwood where Franz
grew
up. At the end of the day we went up
to bed
... it was an old feather bed - comfortable
and deep. Well I got in and you know
what
happened? Franz got in too and down
he went,
and there I was hanging on to the edge
of
the bed. What are you doing? I'm hanging
on to the side of the bed so I don't
join
you in the middle! It was so funny. (Gerry) Well, I stopped over at that farm too and slept in that bed! And that's probably why Franz slept with Freddy Dim that night and Bill Christianson and I slept together - because we're both fat. In the morning Bill gets up when it broke daylight. The window was open, that window on the east of the house. Bill looks out, Well look what we got here. There he is - bare ass sticking out - he's reaching way out, and he came back with two apples. It was just barely daylight and we each had an apple. Then we got down to breakfast. We're telling Mrs. McTavish what lovely apples she has. Ah she says, too bad, they're just full of worms. Don't know what in the world to do with them. Later when we had to leave there, all Franz's friends came from miles and miles and miles around. You never saw so much fruit. Brought cases of this, cases of that. I took a walk down the runway, cause I didn't know how we were ever going to get out of there. That bloody airport is too short to get out. But here we are four big fellows in that airplane and we're going to have to take off out of that stupid little airport. There's tomatoes growing on both sides as I walk down this tomatoe patch. And they're all eaten! The bugs, the birds have eaten them and there's bird shit all over them. The worst looking mess you've ever seen! And when I get back I say that's got to be the worst mess I've ever seen - all those rotten tomatoes out there. "Oh well, no they're not spoiled." "What do you mean, they're not spoiled? What do they do with them?" "Well look, Heinz is right on the end of the runway!" Heinz tomatoe catsup! So anyway we're ready to leave, ready to leave out of there, and we got way back to the far end of the runway. So far back I think the tail of the Navion was sticking in Heinz's tomato catsup factory's back yard. And away we go, down the airstrip. Then all of a sudden there's a spot about this wide, and we go through beside the trees. Now I know why those trees were missing. He said "Oh, I took them out when I had the forty horse Cub". So we went through that bloody hole. Anyway we look back, and Freddy's got a watermelon on his lap this big. He says, I'm not putting that in the baggage compartment, I'm going to hold that sucker. I don't want it to hold down the airplane! (At a certain particular point he threw it in the air.) Yeah. Lo and behold, the night before last, there was a picture in the paper of that bloody tomato, Heinz tomato factory. A big international hot rod race was right there. I bet they're racing up and down Franz's old runway! Anyway we flew over and landed at London, fillled up with gas, and flight planned to Winnipeg. And away we go. And we went around the northern route. And we had a knife, and Freddy is cutting up this watermelon. What a wet sucker. He finally ended up with an old tarp or something over his lap, handing out pieces of watermelon. Watermelon galore! We wern't half way |